The Noodle Incident
by Arrathir
Summary: FINALLY! THE NOODLE INCIDENT CHAPTER 4 UPLOADED! READ! REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1-Loomings

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Calvin and Hobbes characters, or any other products mentioned in this fanfic. They are property of the respective owners so don't sue.   
  
This is my attempt at telling the "Noodle Incident" which Bill Watterson refers to in "Calvin and Hobbes".  
  
CHAPTER 1-Loomings  
  
Calvin's alarm went off. The six-year old hit the snooze button and rolled over. Three minutes later, his mom came in the room screaming: "CALVIN! YOU'RE GOING TO BE LATE FOR SCHOOL! GET UP!" Calvin was dragged out of bed, kicking and screaming.   
He got dressed, went downstairs, ate his bowl of "Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs", packed his school bag and as soon as he was out the door, made a break for the woods. His mom chased him, and dragged him to the bus stop where Suzie Darkens was already waiting.  
"Hi Calvin", said Suzie after Calvin's mom has left.  
"Awww, go step in front of a cement truck will ya?" said Calvin.  
Calvin, as usual, really did not want to go to school today. Especially since this was Macaroni 'N Cheese day at the cafeteria. He didn't have his lunch, (his lunchbox having dispersed its contents as his mom was dragging him), so he would have to eat the gross macaroni. When the school bus pulled up to the curb, Calvin looked as though he was going to run, but as he looked back, he saw his mom standing by the house and decided not to risk it.  
"Our fearless hero Spaceman Spiff once again is captured by the Zorwargs and is being sent to labour camps where the men are worked until death." commentated Calvin.   
As the school bus pulled away, Calvin's mom sighed, "Well, at least he's off to school. Now, anything can happen." She didn't know what she was in for.  
  
Calvin sat at his desk, paying rapt attention to Miss. Wormwood's lecture on addition.  
His brain was already imagining up a daring escape plan for Spiff. "The Zorwargs are unmerciful as our hero is subjected to auditory torture." though Calvin. "But wait, prisoners are allowed washroom breaks! That's it!" With that, Calvin put up his hand.   
"Miss. Wormwood! Can I go to the bathroom?"   
Miss. Wormwood sighed. "Alright. But be quick!" As Calvin left she though: "That boy, if he would put even a small percentage of his time into schoolwork, he could do better in school. I know he has the potential. It's as if he doesn't want to use it." With that, she got back to her lesson.  
  
Calvin raced through the halls. "Our fearless hero, Spiff, once again thwarts the evil aliens as he races for freedom." Suddenly, he noticed an open door. On it was marked "KITCHENS". "Spiff has discovered where the Zorwargs feed! His brilliant mind immediately springs into action." He entered the door.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	2. Chapter 2-Kitchens

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Calvin and Hobbes characters, or any other products mentioned in this fanfic. They are property of the respective owners so don't sue.   
  
This is my attempt at telling the "Noodle Incident" which Bill Watterson refers to in "Calvin and Hobbes".  
  
CHAPTER 2-Kitchen  
  
"We join our fearless hero Spaceman Spiff as he infiltrates the Zorwargs' eating quarters." though Calvin as he crept into the kitchen. "Zounds! A Zorwarg has appeared. Spiff is trapped." In fact, one of the cooks had come in the kichen. Calvin quickly hid in a nearby closet. He heard the cook say "...and we'll need more macaroni. Put it all in the big dish over there." Calvin opened the closet door a crack to see an enormous dish full of macaroni and cheese. "Spiff has spotted the evil plan devised by the Zorwargs to kill all their prisonners! He must warn the others!" With that, Calvin jumped into the noodles. Fortunately, theyr were lukewarm and deep enough for him to hide in.  
  
Back in Calvin's class, Miss. Wormwood asked "Where's Calvin? Isn't he back from the bathroom yet?"   
Suzie groaned. "I hope he's not doing his "Stupendous Man thing again." Miss. Wormwood said "Class, do problems 1-6 in your math book. I'll be right back." She left the class with a firm intention to check out Calvin's locker. "Five years 'till retirerment," she thought "Five years 'till retirerment."  
When she got to the locker, it was empty. She asked a passing boy to check the boy's bathroom to see if Calvin was there. He wasn't. So she went to the Principal's office. She explained that Calvin was hidden somewhere and she suspected him of planing some kind of mischeif. The Principal agreed but since they had no idea where Calvin was, they would just have to keep and eye out for him.  
  
Calvin was still in the noodles when the lunch bell rang. "The prisonners are going to all be killed by the putrid pasta. Spiff will warn them!" Suddenly, calvin felt the dish being jolted as someone carried it out of the kitchen and into the lunch room.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	3. Chapter 3-The caf

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Calvin and Hobbes characters, or any other products mentioned in this fanfic. They are property of the respective owners so don't sue.   
  
This is my attempt at telling the "Noodle Incident" which Bill Watterson refers to in "Calvin and Hobbes".  
  
CHAPTER 3-The caf  
  
"Spaceman Spiff is being carried off to the mess hall where all the prisoners will be forced to eat the putrid pasta he is hiding in." commented Calvin as the dish as carried to the caf table. As the dish was set down, Calvin thought, "The time has come! Spiff must act now if he wants to save the prisoners. This may mean his death but if he can save the others, he'll do it!" With that, Calvin stood up, flinging pasta everywhere.  
  
Suzie was in line for the macaroni and cheese. She was hoping Calvin wouldn't show up and make some gross comment that would make her loose her appetite. She could already imagine it: "Hey Suzie, did you know they make macaronis from dead dog guts? And the cheese is in fact melted plastic?" Ugh! Suzie was wondering where Calvin was. He had not come back to class and she had the feeling he was up to something. Last time, he disappeared from class; he came back as Stupendous Man. And when he returned as himself, he had the nerve of saying it hadn't been him in the costume! Just then, she heard kids screaming ahead of her, as noodles flew above her head. Instinctively, she ducked under a table.  
  
When Calvin leapt out of the pasta, Moe was just about to help himself. The pasta went all over him. When he finally say who had thrown the pasta at him, he said, "That's it Twinkie! You're dead." With that, he brought his massive fist down on Calvin but the smaller boy dodged and Moe hit the dish of pasta, which sent it flying over all the students. All the pasta fell out and rare were those who escaped clean.  
  
Calvin darted from the caf and into the washroom. "Spiff saves the day! The pasta is inedible and the prisoners are saved! He waited until the end of lunch bell rang before returning to his classroom. As soon as he came in though, he could see he was in BIG trouble. For one thing, no students were in the classroom, only the principal, Miss. Wormwood, and...his mom. "Uh-ho." he thought.  
  
TO BE CONTINUED... 


	4. Chapter 4-Trouble!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Calvin and Hobbes characters, or any other products mentioned in this fanfic. They are property of the respective owners so don't sue.   
  
This is my attempt at telling the "Noodle Incident" which Bill Watterson refers to in "Calvin and Hobbes".  
  
CHAPTER 4-Trouble!  
  
As soon as Miss. Wormwood saw Calvin she thought, "That boy is in SO much trouble! He'll practically be on permanent detention for the rest of grade one! I knew I shouldn't have let him leave! I knew he was going to do something crazy!"  
Calvin's mom was practically fuming with anger. "How could he?" she though, " How could he do something like this? I told him if he did anything like this again he'd loose a lot of privileges.   
"Um," said Calvin, "Where's everyone?"  
"Didn't you hear the lunch bell?" said Miss Wormwood.  
"Young man," said the principal, "I'll go straight to the facts: several witnesses reported you jumped out of a platter of noodles in the cafeteria and caused a big food fight."  
"It wasn't me!" said Calvin, "I was just going to the bathroom! Miss Wormwood said I could!"  
"The fact is, you did not return to class until after this incident happened." said Miss Wormwood.  
"I am innocent!" said Calvin, "This is a Democracy! What happened to "Innocent until proved guilty"? "  
"Well," said Miss Wormwood, "If it wasn't you in the caf, then who was it?"  
"It um," said Calvin, "It, um was, um, my, um, my evil duplicate!"  
"Riiiiiiigght!" said all the adults.  
"It was!" continued Calvin. "I made a duplicator out of my old transmogrifier. It combined the technologies of transmogrification and photocopying. Instead of making a paper copy, it made an actual duplicate! I duplicated myself to have the dupe clean my room so I could play with Hobbes."  
"Who's Hobbes?" asked the principal.  
"My stuffed tiger." said Calvin. "Anyways. For some weird reason, when I politely asked my duplicate to clean my room, he refused and ran out. Then when I went out to find hi, my mom, thinking he was me, sent him to my room where he duplicated himself and then mom saw the real me was outside and she got mad at me and sent me to my room where I found out there were five duplicates. Then they all got me in trouble so I managed to get them to cooperate. We decided each of us would go to school on alternate days of the week. When things got out of hand, I transmogrified them into worms and buried them in the garden."  
Winded from his speech, Calvin stopped. The adults were staring at him with that bored look on their faces he always got when he tried to explain something to them.  
"After that, " he continued, "I added an ethicator to my duplicator so I made a GOOD duplicate of me. That worked well except for the fact he started being nice to Suzie, which was something I couldn't let him do. He disappeared after having an evil though. I though I was rid of my duplicates but when I traveled back to the time of dinosaurs using my transmogrifier as a time machine, I left it in the yard. The wind knocked it over where it fell on one of the duplicate-worms. He was turned back into a boy and swore revenge on me. We had the "Clone Wars" where he used the duplicator to make evil duplicates and attacked my tree fort. Luckily, I had my handheld transmogrifier gun I had made and I turned them all into worms again, except for one. After that, I destroyed my duplicator to avoid another Clone War. The last remaining evil duplicate ran away and I though he was gone for good but he came back and now he's framed me! Whew! Is school over?"  
Calvin looked around. The adults were snoring on their chairs. He tried to sneak away when his mom woke and said "HOLD IT RIGHT THERE YOUNG MAN!"  
Miss wormwood said "As punishment, you will have to clean the entire caf. Also you will have permanent detention for the rest of elementary school (Since Calvin never leaves elementary, he's on life detention). As well, you will write a 200-page apology to all the students in the school and read it publicly."  
"MONARCHISTS!" screamed Calvin, running out the door. "The Incredible Spaceman Spiff escapes again! But wait, the queen alien is chasing him!" Calvin's mom ran after him as he tore down the halls of the school...  
  
THE END  
  
Coming next...my spin-off story, "The Calvin Clone Wars"! 


End file.
